8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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