thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am one with the molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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