ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
