She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
