Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
