Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
