First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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