It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
