i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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