How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
