Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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