her vagine was all disorganized.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
