She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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