So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I need to stop coming to work sober
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
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Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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