i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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