i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
