do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
