she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
