I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
