is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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