My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
