Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
