ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Barsexuality is the new black.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
