Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
