So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
