Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
