Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
