I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
