he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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