everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize