You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
