If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
