He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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