I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
