you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
