Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
