It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
