We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My life is pants optional.
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