Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
