So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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