all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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