I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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