im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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