let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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