spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
