My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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