i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize