So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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