I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize