got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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