i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize