Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
