I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
