She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Im part way to drunk.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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