i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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