This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
