I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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