If i come over, it means nothing
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
