I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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