he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
