I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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